Compassion Fatigue
Dealing with Cynicism
Dealing with Long Hours and Shift Work
Dealing with Overprotectiveness
Definition
Importance of Communication
Myths
Phases of a Law Enforcement Officer’s Career
Public Safety Kids
Survival Tips for Public Safety Families
The Impact of Hypervigilance
Wellness
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Compassion Fatigue

Compassion fatigue is a gradual lessening of occupational compassion over time. It is common among public safety personnel.

Symptoms of compassion fatigue can include:

• A dislike of people
• A lack of interest in work
• A lack of interest in life
• A disregard for family needs • An indifference towards people

Ways to improve compassion fatigue:

• Encourage public safety partner to socialize with others not involved in public safety.
• Maintain friendships with non-law enforcement or firefighting.
• Encourage counseling as means to address lack of interest in work.
• Plan family outings to reengage with family.

Unfortunately there is not an “owner’s manual” on how to handle being in a relationship with a public safety partner. Reach out to other families who are willing to share how they maintain healthy relationships. Refer to Compassion Fatigue section of this app.

Dealing with Cynicism

Cynicism means that you believe that most human beings and their behaviors are motivated by selfishness. Public safety personnel become cynics through interactions with those on the street while on duty. Cynicism results from dealing with the worst of human nature. This cynical view of the world impacts families.

Here are some ways to deal with cynicism:

• Discuss the negative impact on the family members who do not see the worst in people.
• Expose the employee to positive, loving people while off duty.
• Volunteer for an organization where cynicism does not exist.
• Go to Kevin Gilmartin’s Emotional Survival for Law Enforcement Training. Refer to the Public Safety Training tab in the Referral section of this app (Kevin Gilmartin’s Emotional Survival for Law Enforcement Training).

Dealing with Long Hours and Shift Work

Working long hours and shift work are difficult parts of the job for many public safety personnel and their families. Families are not used to their loved one being absent during holidays, vacations, or other significant events (i.e., child’s first play, child’s all-star game). Important events are often missed due to the officer’s career. There are some things a peer supporter can tell a family who is struggling with shift work and long hours that may ease the stress:

• If it is a birthday or holiday that is being missed, celebrate on a different day.
• If a family member is afraid to be alone at nighttime, install security alarms.
• If long hours interrupt a couple from spending time alone together, create date nights.
• Make clear verbal agreements about the importance of the family unit since long hours and shift work can create insecurities.
• With easy social media access, make brief contact during a long shift.
• If a family’s plans have been interrupted, carry out the plans instead of cancelling because one has been called to work.
• Pair up with other significant others who also may be at home alone.
• Work on long overdue projects to stay busy.
• Remind the family members that shift work is temporary.

Definition

Significant others represent anyone who love and care about someone in public safety. Their law-enforcement career not only impacts those who go to work in the profession, but also those who support them. The career can be extremely intrusive in a person’s family life; therefore, talking about survival is crucial.

Importance of Communication

Many public safety families have great tips on how to communicate to keep their family together and strong. Here are guidelines that may help a peer supporter or supervisor:

Where to talk

• A safe environment agreed upon by all parties
• A place where person can multitask, preferred by men
• A place for physical closeness, preferred by women
• Not in front of children

When to talk

 

• At end of work day, after public safety professional has had time to relax after being on duty.
• Not at bedtime

How to talk

 

• Speak with mutual respect.
• Speak with lowered or controlled voice.
• Speak without anger.
• Listen before speaking.
• Be transparent.
• Be direct
• Be honest
• Eliminate chance of interruptions.
• Avoid bringing up old arguments.
• Don’t jump to conclusions

Warning:

 

• Learn to yield
• Watch gridlock
• Do not wound each other
• Put limits on “shop talk” at home

Myths

Myth: The majority of public safety personnel get divorced.

Fact: In the past, more public safety personnel did get divorced, but more recently with wellness programs and the focus on the family, divorce rates have decreased.

Myth: The majority of public safety personnel are alcoholics.

Fact: This has decreased over the years due to wellness programs and the focus on substance abuse and its dangers.

Myth: More law enforcement officers are likely to commit suicide than any other profession.

Fact: Although law enforcement statistics show that an average of 144 law enforcement officers kill themselves annually, it is not the leading profession for suicide.

Myth: Law enforcement officers die within 5 years of retirement.

Fact: Law enforcement officers are living between 15-20 years beyond their retirement.

Phases of a Law Enforcement Officer’s Career

Phase 1: Idealism

• Finally made it through the academy
• Now they feel they have become “real cops”
• Lasts up to 2 years

Phase 2: Competence

• Confidence is increased
• They feel they have proven themselves
• Begin the attitude of “Us vs. Them” and “Good guys vs. Bad guys”
• Lasts up to 3-7 years

Phase 3: Disillusionment

• Begin to be fed-up with their own children and spouses
• Attitude towards court system changes negatively
• Attitude towards management becomes negative
• Experience weight gain
• Increase in substance abuse (especially alcohol)
• Lasts up to 7-11 years

Phase 4: Resolution

• Attitude gets more positive
• Become more comfortable with self and career
• Want to protect and serve again
• Lasts up to 10-13 years until retirement

Phase 5: Retirement

• Begin to acknowledge there is life after law enforcement
• Mentally starts to separate law enforcement role to civilian role

Another view of the phases that a law enforcement officers experience in their career can be found in Dr. Ellen Kirschman’s book I Love a Cop (Revised Edition) (Refer to Recommended Reading: Law Enforcement under the Resources tab.)

Public Safety Kids

Cop’s Kids

Young children are typically excited to have a parent in law enforcement. They usually have a sense of pride when telling others what their parent does for a living. As the child gets older, however, this can change. Teens may struggle with authority, suffer teasing by their peers, and avoid telling classmates that their parent is in law enforcement. The good new is that young adults often return to being proud of their parent(s).

Warning:

A public safety parent needs to watch their overprotectiveness. Some children may resent this.

Equipment safety tips

Explain and answer children’s questions about the following equipment:

• Weapons
• Tasers
• Pepper Spray
• Handcuffs

Warning:

Protect children by putting all equipment in a childproof safe.

Firefighter’s Kids

The children of firefighters are typically proud of their parents throughout their growing up years, unlike teenagers of law enforcement, who may hide what their parents do for a living.

Survival Tips for Public Safety Families

• Try to eat dinner together as a family at least twice a week or more.
• Review and understand everyone’s schedule
• As a couple, schedule alone time together.
• Control technology distractions (iPad, emails, texting, phone calls).
• Create and schedule date nights
• Create and schedule family days
• Develop family rituals
• Invest time into the relationship
• Make time for outside activities
• Create time to talk about relationship.
• Go out with friends, enjoy hobbies that may not always include the public safety partner
• Don’t go to sleep while arguing.
• Concentrate on family life.
• Don’t let the job define the significant other.
• Have hobbies
• Find ways to relieve stress (Refer to the Wellness section of the app)
• Don’t let resentment and anger build.
• Stay away from unhealthy lifestyles.
• Incorporate family, religion, or spirituality.
• Keep your sense of humor
• Make plan to call or text home when working long hours
• Expect schedule changes. Stick to original plans when possible.
• Have appropriate conversations about news events in which public safety is scrutinized.
• Discuss family fears of public safety careers.

Refer to Dr. Kevin Gilmartin’s Emotional Survival for Law Enforcement, Dr. Ellen Kirschman’s I Love a Cop and Dr. Ellen Kirshman’s I love a Fire Fighter, And Baby Makes Three Dr. John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman, in the Recommended Reading tabs in the Resource section of the app.

The Impact of Hypervigilance

Public safety personnel are exposed to a lot of negativity in their career. He/she begins to believe that the world is a dangerous place, which increases hypervigilance. He/she scans his/her environment constantly, on or off duty, and on many occasions feel that people they meet are potential threats. The following physical (biological) reactions can take place when a person is experiencing extreme hypervigilance.

• An increase in blood sugar
• An increase in blood pressure
• An increase in heart rate
• An increase in peripheral vision
• An increase in hearing
• An increase in energy
• An increase in reaction times

Most of the time this hypervigilance experienced while on duty can be positive, because it can in fact save their life. However, it can have a negative impact on their social life and family. Being hypervigilant at work can cause him/her to experience the following at home:

• An increase in fatigue
• An increase in detachment
• An increase in isolation
• An increase in apathy

Refer to Kevin Gilmartin’s Emotional Survival for Law Enforcement Training.

Wellness

Refer to Wellness Section of this app.

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Compassion Fatigue
Dealing with Cynicism
Dealing with Long Hours and Shift Work
Dealing with Overprotectiveness
Definition
Importance of Communication
Myths
Phases of a Law Enforcement Officer’s Career
Public Safety Kids
Survival Tips for Public Safety Families
The Impact of Hypervigilance
Wellness